


Unbound (sequel to "The Ties That Bind")

by mendeshoney



Series: Bound To You [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-10-21 02:49:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17634611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mendeshoney/pseuds/mendeshoney
Summary: A year later and everything's different, but somehow still the same.





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of pasta and pizza filled your nostrils as you entered your apartment, shutting the door behind you and locking out the cold of the hallway of your building. You could hear the bickering before you saw them, laughing to yourself as you came into the kitchen, setting your bag on the counter.  
  
The boys were engaged in a very heated debate - about what, you had no idea, you couldn’t really make it out over the volume of them arguing over one another - and paid you no mind as you set your bag down, grabbed a plate from your cabinet, and stacked it with pasta.  
  
You leaned against the counter, twirling a bit of the noodles around your fork before taking an appreciative bite. The boys were still bickering between bites of food and sips of their waters, and you watched on in amusement.  
  
It wasn’t until Freddie started gesticulating - a tell tale sign he was now invested in making his point and logically whooping ass - that his eyes happened to follow his fingers, landing on you.  
  
He smiles softly at you, words dying on his lips. The rest of the arguing slowly comes to a stop, and the five of them all turn to you at once. You wave at them with your fork, smiling softly before twirling more pasta around. “Don’t let me stop you.”  
  
Auston huffs. “No, stop him. Please.” He says, rolling his eyes at Freddie.  
  
“You just don’t want to admit you’re wrong.” Kappy insists.   
  
Mitch pouts, pointing an accusatory finger at Kappy. “You haven’t proven that you’re right either though!”   
  
You look to Willy, the only one who hasn’t spoken, with a raised brow. “And your thoughts?”  
  
Will scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t get me started.”  
  
“We didn’t hear you come in.” Freddie says, watching you and ignoring the others. “How was work?”  
  
You shrug. “Was alright. Nothing too terrible. How was practice this morning?”  
  
The five men groan in varying degrees. “Let’s not go there.” Auston says. He stands up, moving around your kitchen and you watch as he pours you a glass of your favorite Moscato. He brings it to you, shy smile on his face. “I picked this up for you today on my way home from practice.”  
  
You smile, taking it with a quiet thank you, and your fingers brush together as he hands it over. There’s still a spark there, both of you quietly acknowledging it with your eyes.   
  
“Steph’s in your room.” Mitch says. “She’s watching Pretty Woman.”  
  
“Probably didn’t want to be around for this sausage fest,” you tease, grabbing your plate and heading into your room.  
  
Steph’s sitting up against your headboard, covers over her legs as she eats her own pasta, slices of pizza on the nightstand next to her. You see her jeans laying on the floor and roll your eyes.  
  
“Comfy?”  
  
Her eyes don’t leave the screen when she says. “Are they still arguing out there?”  
  
You place your plate and glass down on the nightstand on your side, heading into your closet. “Yeah, what are they even talking about?”  
  
“I don’t know. I don’t speak ‘boy.’”   
  
You laugh as you shed your work clothes, bra, and underwear, pulling on boy shorts and a worn oversized Maple Leafs shirt, tying your hair in a bun before heading back into the room. You climb in next to Steph, pulling the blanket over both of your legs then grabbing your plate.

“Freddie’s been here all day, by the way.” Steph says, trying her best to talk around her mouthful without spitting on your bedspread. “Since practice finished. Something about your bathroom vanity?”

Your eyes trail to the open door of your ensuite bathroom, sighing in recollection. “I told him he didn’t have to worry about it.”

“According to him, he’s paying for it, so he gets a say in how it looks.”

“He’s been saying that for a year.”

“And a year ago you said you wouldn’t be here in Toronto anymore, but I don’t see you leaving anytime soon,” Steph says, finally pulling her eyes from your TV screen to give you a pointed look. “I would accuse you of shacking up with Auston again, but I can see you two still tip toe around each other like nobody’s business, so that’s not a possibility.”

“I’m not sleeping with anyone.” You say, but it comes out more defensive than anything else.

She rolls her eyes. “I didn’t say you were.”

“Anyway.” You say. “Bathroom vanity.”

Steph eyes you warily. “He said he’s replacing it?”

You groan. “You know sometimes I think I liked it better when he hated me.”

“He never hated you,” she says, tilting her head slightly. “Not really.”

You’re about to supply a rebuttal but then there’s a soft knock on your door, and Auston pops his head in, smiling sheepishly. “Where do you keep the stain remover?”

You frown. “Why?”

“Someone may or may not have spilled red wine on your carpet.”

“Kasperi!” You call out, frustrated.

“It wasn’t even me!”

“You’re the only one who drinks red around here asshole!” You call back.

Auston turns his head toward your living room, and there’s a bit of arguing before the door opens wider, and Fred’s standing behind Auston. “I’ll take care of it.”

“No,” Auston insists. “I got it, just tell me where the stain remover is.”

“Under the kitchen sink.” You and Fred say at the same time, and you don’t miss the frown on Auston’s face as he shoves Fred back, shutting the door to your room.

Steph turns to you. “Are we gonna talk about  _that_  or no?”

“Let’s settle for ‘no.’” You grab the remote and turn the volume up, effectively ending the conversation for now.

Hours later, when everyone but Auston has left, the two of you are in your kitchen. You’re sitting cross-legged on your kitchen counter, watching as Auston moves around and grabs everything he needs for chocolate chip cookies.

You agreed as part of “starting over” that every free Friday he had, the two of you would spend time together trying to mend everything that broke. Sometimes he would stay over, sometimes he wouldn’t, but due to the late hour, you assumed he’d be staying the night again.

He hasn’t been very talkative since the boys left, hasn’t really said much, but you know that that’s kind of how things are now. Auston’s lets you control the conversations, the pace, the mood - all because he wants you to know how much he appreciates you giving him the second chance he never really deserved.

You take a shower while he bakes, ridding yourself of the day and changing into sweatpants and a sports bra, putting on fuzzy socks before heading back into the kitchen.

Auston’s there, on one of the barstools, scrolling through his phone, but when you come in, he smiles softly, placing his phone on the counter. He leaves it unlocked and facing upward - he’s been doing it a lot lately, and you think it’s because he’s trying to prove to you that you can trust him, that he doesn’t have anything to hide - and gestures to the oven.

“Should be ready in a few minutes.” He says. “You care if I crash here?”

“No,” you say, “You’re more than welcome to. Want tea?”

“Please.”

You reach into the cabinet, grabbing two mugs and putting the kettle on. You can hear him stand, coming up behind you. He rests a hand on your lower back, using the other to grab the tea from the top shelf. He hands it to you with a smile before leaning against the counter, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“So,” he says, tone changing. “Freddie says he’s redoing your bathroom vanity?”

“Yeah,” you laugh, crossing your arms across your chest. “There were some issues with it not long after I moved in, like some of the drawers didn’t really close, plus there’s not much storage. I told him I was going to have someone come in and do it for me, but he kind of just went ahead with it anyway.”

Auston nods. “No yeah I get it.”

You quirk an eyebrow at him. “Does that bother you?”

“Honestly? It’s still taking some getting used to. You two being friends and all? I mean I’m assuming most of that is my fault anyway, but it’s just…”

“Different.” You offer. He nods, smiling softly. “No yeah, it’s different for me too. I mean it’s been a year, so you’d think I’d be used to it by now but…”

“New things take a minute to get used to.” He says, and by the way he’s looking at you, you know he’s talking about something else entirely.

Auston desperately wants to ask you if he still means anything to you, if Freddie means anything to you, if you’re interested in anyone at all, but he thinks better of it, keeping his mouth shut.

No matter how badly he wants you, he can’t have you until you say so, and he knows that’s a long shot.

The kettle starts to whistle, and you turn off the stove, pouring water carefully into the two mugs before grabbing the tea bags, placing one in each along with a dollop of honey and a pinch of sugar.

The timer on the oven dings, and Auston’s grabbing the cookies, carefully putting them onto a plate for the both of you before placing the pan in the dishwasher.

You both settle on your couch with your mugs and plate of fresh cookies, and Auston reaches over your lap for the Roku remote, opening Netflix and queueing up ‘Peaky Blinders.’

You make it through two episodes before you’re dozing, resting soundly against Auston’s side, mugs and plate forgotten on the coffee table. He takes a minute to watch you, peaceful and quiet, and then there’s that pang in his chest.

_Regret. Longing. Desire. Shame. Sadness._

He sighs to himself, knowing he can’t let you stay like this forever. As comfortable as you look, his chest doesn’t make much of a good pillow for you anymore. So he carefully removes his arm from behind your head, rubbing your arm to get you to wake up.

“C’mon bebé,” he murmurs, brushing hair out of your face. “I’ve gotta get you to bed, okay?”

But it’s not working. You must’ve had a long day judging by how hard you fell asleep, and Auston doesn’t know of any other way to wake you.

None that he’s allowed to do, anyway.

So he carefully moves off the couch before scooping you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style into your bedroom. He’s careful to tuck you in, making sure you’re settled before he turns out the lights and shuts the door, retreating to the guest bedroom.

It took him awhile to learn to sleep knowing you weren’t his anymore, and now, it’s second nature. He shuts his eyes, finding comfort that at least now you’re on the other side of the wall instead of hundreds of miles away.

—

It’s another three days until there’s a hockey player in your presence again.

It’s storming out, snow falling down heavy, and all you wanted was to come home and eat a pint of ice cream in peace.

But the sound of a power drill overwhelms your ears, and you let out a deep sigh.

Kappy’s hockey bag is in your entryway, along with his backpack and shoes, coat hung haphazardly on the rack. The drill stops after a few seconds, and you drop your purse on the counter.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at practice or something? Or helping Freddie recover? Or with your girlfriend?” You call out, murmuring to yourself when you say “You know…anywhere but here…”

Freddie’s been injured these past few days, and Babcock told him he wouldn’t be able to start until he was feeling better. Something about a muscle strain in his leg, you weren’t sure, but it was looking like he’d be out a couple of weeks.

You hear a chuckle before Kasperi appears in the doorway of your bedroom. “Figured I’d help Freddie out with the whole vanity thing while he’s doing PT, keep you company.”

“I might lose power.” You say, gesturing to the heavy snow outside.

“You’d better not.” Kappy says. “Freddie doesn’t pay for you to stay in a shitty building.”

You roll your eyes. “You know in a month from now, neither of you will be able to say that anymore. I can pay my own rent now. New job and all.”

You move around your kitchen, pouring a small glass of the Moscato Auston bought you to calm your stress from the day, downing it quickly and putting the glass in the sink.

When you come out, Kappy’s still standing there. “He doesn’t mind paying your rent, you know.”

“Sure. Bet it makes him feel like a proper Sugar Daddy,” you tease.

Kappy frowns. “That’s disgusting. Keep that shit up and I won’t finish your vanity.”

You shrug. “Fine by me. I can still go back to Syracuse.”

He groans, tired of your remarks. You hear him mumble “stop saying that shit” as he retreats to the bathroom.

You turn on the TV, turning to a random movie, figuring Kappy will change it when the time comes. Heading into your closet, you change into sweatpants and a shirt from Syracuse you stole from your brother, foregoing the bra and slipping socks on your feet to keep you warm.

There’s a water on the coffee table for you when you come back out, and you smile a little at the gesture. “Hey! You good if I order Chinese or will that fuck up your diet?” You call out.

“Sure. You know what I like.” He replies.

You place the order on Postmates, getting the notification it’ll be there right around the time the game is supposed to start.

After ten minutes of drilling and cursing, Kappy finally emerges from your bathroom with a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and dust on his sweatpants.

“How long have you been here?” You ask, taking a sip of water.

Kasperi shrugs, plopping down on the couch next to you. “Since practice ended. Freddie told me I had to finish the vanity today so you could use it.”

You raise a brow. “Steph said Freddie was here the other day right after practice ended, too.”

“Well the vanity’s big as shit. Took one day to pick it up and bring it here, and all of today to take out your old one and put the new one in.”

“And Freddie made you do this by yourself?”

He shakes his head. “No, Freddie said he had a company come pick up the old one. Then they installed the bare bones of it, then he had someone else come to take care of the plumbing, but I did the rest. Wasn’t hard.”

“Well, thank you. You really didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it.”

He offers you a small smile. “Now you have more room for your shit.”

“I don’t even have that much stuff.”

“Well maybe if you stay longer you can get more stuff.”

You’re quiet for a second, taking in his words. You turn toward him a little. “What is it with you guys and me staying here?”

“What?” He looks surprised, clearly not expecting your question.

“We agreed I’d be here a year and when the year was up either I’d take over paying or I’d move to Syracuse with my brother. And now you guys want me to stay and not pay.”

“Maybe we just like having you around.” He teases, nudging you.

“Not just you guys.” You say quietly. “Freddie too.”

“Maybe he’s just trying to be a good friend because he didn’t get to the first time.”

You raise a brow at him playfully. “Well whose fault was that?”

He stares at you for a second, looking fond and then serious. “You know, Freddie never-“

He’s cut off by the buzzer near your front door, and then your phone buzzing with a notification that your Postmates arrived.

“I’ll get it.” He says, almost bolting off the couch, willing himself to keep his mouth shut. Kappy promised himself and Freddie that he’d never tell you. That he’d keep his mouth shut and take this secret to the grave.

You’d been through enough with Auston, you didn’t need anymore trouble.

Plus, he could never do that to his teammate.

—

The following Friday, the Leafs have an away game, and you head out to the bar with a few friends from work.

It’s supposed to start snowing again soon, so you know you won’t be out all night, but you want to be out long enough to at least see the first part of the game, and loosen up a little before going home and eating your weight in kettle corn.

Your co-worker Dean buys everyone a round of beers, and you order a vodka cranberry, not willing to be patient about drinking or caring about mixing.

The first period of the game against Ottawa starts, and as all the commotion breaks out, the bar becoming focused on the TVs scattered around the space, your eyes drift across the bar to a familiar face.

He’s trying to be discreet while trying to distract himself, but if anyone got close enough, he’d be spotted and this entire place would erupt.

You slip away from your friends, making your way across the bar and into the booth across from him.

“There a reason you’re here right now?”

He looks up at you in surprise. “How did you-”

“Don’t you think I know you well enough by now to spot you in the middle of a crowd?”

Freddie smile, pulling the baseball cap a little further down. “Thought I was being sneaky.”

Something about the way he says it has you leaning in, and you raise a brow at him. “Are you drunk?”

He gestures to the empty glasses in front of him that you didn’t notice at first. “Nearly there.”

There’s a chorus of cheers and you and Freddie look at the TV. Naz is fighting lord knows who, and you take the distraction to look at Freddie, gesturing toward the front doors. “We should get you out of here.”

“What about your friends?”

You look at him, shocked he even noticed. “How’d you know I was here with anyone?”

He smirks. “Don’t you think I know you well enough by now to spot you in the middle of a crowd?”

You roll your eyes. “Alright, let’s go.”

You wave a goodbye to your co-workers, groaning when you come outside to find the snow falling harder than predicted, and you curse. You and Freddie hop into your car and head to your apartment building, heading upstairs and inside.

“You should probably shower.” You say. “While you can.”

“Nah.” He says. “You go for it, I’ll be okay.”

After a quick shower, changing into sleep shorts and an oversized shirt, you pad out to the living room to find Freddie dozing off a little on your couch. You sigh about to throw a blanket over him when the lights flicker out and the apartment goes dark, the little background hum of noise going silent.

You sigh, grabbing your phone and turning the flashlight on, going about lighting candles and turning on some of the LED battery lights, placing them around your apartment. One of the lights tumbles out of your hands, and just as you bend over to pick it up, you hear a throat clear from behind you.

You jump, startled turning to look at Freddie. He’s wide awake now, staring at you with an unreadable look in his eyes. Whatever it is, you don’t think you’ve seen him look at you like this before, and it has you squirming under his gaze.

“Power’s out.” You say, turning on the light you dropped, placing it on the coffee table. “So it looks like we won’t be watching the game after all.”

“That’s okay.” He says, shrugging, taking a seat on the barstool.

You raise a brow. “Don’t you  _want_ to be watching the game? See how they’re doing? Isn’t that how this normally goes when you’re hurt and stuck in Toronto when the others are on the road?”

Again, he shrugs. “There’s a few other things we could do instead.” He says, his voice trailing off at the end.

You can tell by looking at him that it’s the drinks talking, but there’s something in his eyes that screams honesty, that screams hunger. Your heart is racing a mile a minute, and you tear your eyes away from his heavy gaze, trying to shove down the nervous lump in your throat.

“Tea?” You ask weakly, already turning to grab a mug from your kitchen cabinet. “Should keep us warm till the power comes back on, lucky us that the stove’s gas.”

He frowns at your back. “No.” He says, standing to try and stop you, to get you to pay attention to him. “I don’t want tea.”

You let your arm fall, closing the cabinet door. You turn, expecting him to still be sitting on the barstool, but instead he’s in your space, crowding you back against the counter.

“Um,” you stutter out, his body pressing against yours. You can feel how hard he is through his jeans and where it presses against you, and you try to back away. You stare at his chest, trying to focus on anything else when you feel his fingers tip your chin up.

“Stop me if you don’t want this.” His breath fans across your face, and you’re reminded he’s not completely of sound mind.

“You’ve been drinking,” you say, “Are you sure you don’t-”

“I don’t want tea.” He repeats. “I just want…I just want a little taste…”

He leans in, giving you plenty of time to turn your head, to push him away. You know he’s not the type to do this unless you want it, too. He would never do anything you didn’t want.

You try one last attempt, saying something you think will stop the both of you from making this choice.

“Won’t Auston be upset?”

You can see the pause in his face, but as he searches your eyes, you can also see the very moment he says “fuck it,” before he dives into you, his lips offering you the most gentle, most heated kiss you’ve had in a year.


	2. Chapter 2

**911 SOS code red all of the above please just GET OVER HERE**

You had sent that text to Steph almost twenty minutes ago and now you were pacing around your apartment like a mad woman. It felt like you were going to faint any second - your heart was racing a mile a minute and about a million things were running through your head at once.

The three knocks on your door had you running to it, barely stopping to check the peephole before throwing it open and hoping Stephanie could see the desperation on your face.

“Holy…shit…” she breathes out. She stares at you for a second before her hand covers her mouth, trying to stifle her giggles. “Was he trying to  _eat_  you?”

You groan, grabbing her by the elbow and tugging her inside, shutting and locking the door behind her.

She takes a step back, examining you before she’s laughing again, pointing at your neck. “It looks like he tried to suck out your soul.”

“Steph!” You exclaim. “Now is not the time!”

“Did you guys fuck? Was it good?”

“Stephanie!”

“Okay okay fine,” she relents, stepping closer. “Lemme see it.” She pulls the collar of your shirt down toward your collarbone. “Jesus. Either you bruise easy or this kid is possessive as hell.”

“How bad is it? Can you help me?” You plead, growing restless.

“I mean I can try. Mitch never leaves hickies this big so I’m a little out of my element.” She replies, pressing her finger into the giant bruise at the base of your neck, not even bothering with the ones that go below the collar of your shirt. “How did this even happen?”

“He was at the bar, out in the open like a fucking idiot so I brought him back here. I-I lost power, and then-”

“You were that bored without TV?” She teases, letting your shirt go and taking a step back.

“Steph,” you say dramatically, sitting on a barstool and burying your head in your hands. “This is a nightmare. I made a huge mistake.”

“Yeah. The trail of hickeys Auston left on your neck are a mistake.” She scoffs, looking at you with a smirk.

You lift your eyes to her and shake your head, a look of horror and shame on your face, “No. Steph, the boys are in Ottawa, remember?”

Realization dawns on her and then she drops her bag on your floor when she figures it out. “Oh shit. This was…Freddie?”

You nod, swallowing a lump in your throat. “Yeah.”

“Holy shit…I knew it! I knew he liked you!” She exclaims, pointing at you. “I tried to tell Mitch but he denied it! He said there was no way, but there is! And the other day, your vanity, it’s all because-”

“Because he likes me.” You say. “Yeah, I know.”

“Oh fuck.” She says, sitting on a barstool across from you. “Okay, listen it’s fine. We can figure this out. Does Auston know?”

You look at her, shaking your head in horror. “No, no he doesn’t know and he  _cannot_  know, okay? Auston can never find out about this. It would tear the team apart.”

“Okay fine. Done deal. What about you and Freddie? Did you do anything?” She asks, and by the look in her eyes you know she’s praying that you say no.

“Of course not. We just…well we made out for a long time.” You say, shame rising and quickly replacing how good you felt when Freddie kissed you, how good it felt to have his hands on you, his body so close to yours. “We made out, and then he spent the night. We cuddled and kissed but nothing else happened, I swear!”

“He spent the night?!” Steph exclaims, standing suddenly. Her hands go to her hair and she starts pacing. “Jesus Christ. You two made out and he spent the night? Where is he now?” Her voice lowers to a whisper and she points to your room. “Is he still here?!”

“No,” you shake your head, reaching out to lower her hand. “He left this morning. The minute he left I texted you.”

“Oh my fucking god.” She says, pacing again. “I am way out of my element. I need Sydney.”

“No!” You exclaim, standing. “You  _cannot_  tell Sydney! If you tell Syd she’ll tell Marty and he’ll tell Mitch and that is a thousand times worse than you telling Mitch right out! Plus I do  _not_  need my business all over Long Island!”

Steph narrows her eyes, pointing. “Your business is all over your neck right now missy!”

“I didn’t know what else to do, Steph!” You say.

She finally stops pacing and turns to you, a frown on her face. “This isn’t your fault, okay? I’m not saying any of this because you did anything wrong.”

“But I kissed-”

“You are a  _single_  woman who kissed a guy. So what if that guy is best friends with your ex? Your ex _cheated_  on you, more than once, I’d like to add, and all you did was make out and cuddle with his best friend. Those two do not equal each other.” She puts her hands on your shoulders and shakes you a little. “You. Did. Nothing. Wrong. Understand? I get why you’re freaking out, and I know my freaking out isn’t helping, I’m just trying to process this, that’s all.”

Her words sink in, and you nod after a minute.

She’s right.

So you kissed Freddie, so what? And so he likes you, that’s not a bad thing. And Auston cheated on you, and you’re not together, so who cares if you kissed Freddie?

Who cares if you kiss anyone? It’s none of Auston’s business anyway.

You could make out with all of Toronto and it would still be none of Auston’s business, ever.

You nod, gathering yourself. “Okay.”

“Okay?” She says, looking at you for confirmation that you’re okay.

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Good. So…how was it?” She asks, smiling at the end of her question. She drops her hands and sits next to you.

“It was different. But a good different. He was…gentle? But I could tell he was trying to be patient. There was a lot of…well…it was intense, I guess.” You groan, can feel yourself growing embarrassed.

“Awwww oh my gosh!” She coos, “that’s so sweet! See? I told you he never hated you.”

“Yeah but I still don’t  _get_  it. This is a full one eighty and I’m just…I’m lost. I mean I liked kissing him but I still don’t get, like, any of it?”

Steph shrugs. “What’s there to get? You’re two attractive people who made out. So what?”

You level her with a look. “You know how Freddie is. He’s going to want to talk about this eventually, and I mean so do I? But not right now. I’m still trying to process this.”

“Well you can always hide out here,” she says, gesturing around your apartment.

You start to nod, then realization dawns on you and you’re moaning out in defeat. “Noooo! No I can’t.” You bury your head in your hands miserably, muffling out a response.

Steph raises a brow. “Honey I can’t hear you complain like that, c’mon.”

You allow her to raise your head and stare at her pathetically. “He has a key, Steph. A spare. And so does Kappy. And Auston. Any of them can walk in here at any time.”

She frowns. “Freddie wouldn’t just walk in here without a reason. Especially not like this. You know that. Kappy maybe, but he’d be understanding. And you know for a fact Auston has learned his lesson and respects you far too much to do anything without your permission.”

You nod, taking a deep breath. “Fine, just…please help me with this.” You say, gesturing to your neck.

She nods once, straightening up. “Alright. Do you have orange eyeshadow?”

—

Auston frowns when you miss his call for the fourth time, pocketing his phone and leaning back into his seat on the bus with a loud and heavy sigh. It’s enough cause for concern that both Mitch and Kappy, who are sitting in front of him, turn in their seats to give him questionable looks.

“Problem there bud?” Kappy asks.

“She’s still not answering me. I texted and I called and she hasn’t responded at all.”

Mitch shrugs. “Maybe she’s asleep.”

Auston stares blankly at him then looks outside the bus window, where it is definitely mid-afternoon. “Yeah. She’s totally sleeping.”

Kappy raises a brow. “It’s called a nap?” At Auston’s death glare, he laments. “When’d you last talk to her?”

“Like two days ago.”

“Ottawa?”

Auston nods. Mitch looks a little surprised. “I could call Steph, see if she’ll check in?”

“Or just have Freddie drop by.” Kappy suggests. “I mean, he has a key.”

Auston shakes his head. “No it’s fine. We’ll be there in a little bit. I’ll just swing by.”

Both boys turn in their chairs, facing front again. Auston puts in his Airpods, queueing up his roadie playlist and opening his texts. He figures one more try won’t hurt, and if you don’t respond, then maybe he’ll have Mitch send Steph to check on you.

 **Just wanted to make sure you were doing okay**  He sends to you.

**We’re gonna be back in the city in a couple of hrs**

**It’s Friday and I don’t have plans. Do you? If not do you wanna do dinner?**

He waits and waits for your response. And it isn’t until they’re about half an hour out that he gets one.

**Yaroas?**

Auston frowns hard at his phone, his heart dropping to his feet and mind racing at a mile a minute. This is definitely an emergency. No wonder you weren’t answering him.

Still, it hurts him a little that whatever’s going on with you warrants you not telling him what’s going on. It’s his own fault, but still.

**Yea I can make that for you. What kind?**

**Platano?**

**Of course babe** He takes a risk sending that last one, but in a situation like this he thinks it won’t be that bad.

**See you soon**

—

The second you open the door Auston’s arms dropping the grocery bags to the floor and then wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. He’s got one arm secured around you and the other cupping the back of your head. You wrap your arms around him in turn, squeezing him in greeting.

“Hi.” You squeak out.

He pulls back, holding you at arms length at looking at you with worried eyes. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

You stare back at him with furrowed brows, hands resting on his forearms. “I’m fine. Why?”

“You only want hispanic food nowadays when something’s wrong. You uh…” he stutters, “you said it reminds you of before. Or uh…”

“No,” you assure. “No it does. It’s comforting. I guess I got that from you.”

He stares at you a second longer before his arms drop to his sides, and your arms drop to yours. You gesture for him to come in and he does, picking up the grocery bags and shutting the door behind him.

He watches you as you walk in front of him - an old habit he can’t shake - and takes in the turtleneck cable knit sweater you’re wearing and the plaid sleep shorts, along with your fuzzy socks and fluffy house slippers. He notices that the thermostat down, and considers the fact that it was snowing outside a few days ago.

“Any particular reason you’re living in an igloo?” He teases, taking the ingredients out of the bag.

You smile, but it still doesn’t reach your eyes. “Just feeling kind of under the weather.”

“Are you sick?” He asks, reaching out. He feels your forehead, cheeks, and the back of your neck. You let him this time, instead of inching away after him lingering a second too long.

You’re wordless as he mashes the platanos, watching him from the seat you take on the kitchen counter. You think maybe you’re doing it out of guilt - letting him touch you for a second too long, sitting on the kitchen counter while he cooks for you, just like you used to so many times before your relationship ended - or maybe you’re doing it because you know it might be the only happy thing you give him for a long time.

Especially if he find out what you did.

 _When_  he finds out what you did.

No matter what Steph said about you and Auston not being together and what happened with Freddie not being any of his business, you still cared about him, and there was still something between the two of you, even if you both tried to scoot around it.

There was something in you that was just screaming at you, and if you didn’t tell him the guilt was going to eat at you.

Auston places the yaroas in two separate bowls and you both sit down on the couch to dig in. He puts on “Animal Kingdom,” another show for the two of you to catch up on, and you pull at the cheese, savoring the taste and smiling softly at Auston.

“S’good. Thank you.” You say, and he smiles in return.

The two of you eat in silence, eyes glued to the screen for the most part. Auston clears up the dishes and places them in the dishwasher, coming back to sit next to you with a small bowl of ice cream.

You take it, but place it on the coffee table, turning to him. “Aus, I need to tell you something.”

He raises a brow, putting his bowl down next to yours. “Okay, what is it?”

“I just…” You don’t know how to tell him, so you take off your sweater, exposing your naked torso. Auston audibly gasps, not prepared to see your naked torso again after all this time. His heart starts to race and he’s trying to get the courage to tell you “ _no, put it back on, it’s okay, we don’t have to do this is you don’t want to.”_

He’s definitely misunderstanding the situation.

He realizes that when he sees the marks and finally understands why you’re wearing the turtleneck.

They’re fading, but he can still tell that they’re dark enough to be recently made. They trail from the valley between your breasts - not to mention a few on each of them - up to your collarbone and then your neck.

The one on your neck is big enough to send a message, a message Auston recognizes all too well because he used to do it himself a time or two before.

_Claim. Possession. Taken._

Heat creeps up his body.

_Anger. Sadness. Regret._

His fingers twitch. He wants to reach out and touch them, wants to reach out and wipe them away, wipe them off of your body with his hands. Especially, knowing he didn’t leave those marks on you.

“What…” is all he manages to get out.

“I’m sorry.” You say quietly. You go to grab your sweater to put it back on but he stops you. His body turns toward yours, hands finally reaching out and meeting your skin. You hold your breath, knowing he’d never hurt you, but still not knowing what he’s after.

His fingers trail up your skin, tracing every mark before moving up your collarbone and to your neck, resting there.

“Auston, I-”

“You’re seeing someone?”

You put your sweater on then, tugging it over your head, but he’s still staring at the spots where the marks were. “No.” You say firmly. “It was a one time thing.”

His eyes fly up to yours, curious. “What, like a one night stand?”

“Not exactly,” You say. “We just kissed, he spent the night, and-”

“He slept here?” Auston asks, standing up abruptly. His blood is boiling in his veins, but not with anger.

No.

It’s white hot jealousy.

“Aus-”

“Was he good?” He demands, sounding offended by it all.

You stand too, shaking your head. “We didn’t sleep together. I told him I didn’t want to and he respected that.”

“So he just staked a claim over you, slept in your bed and left.” Auston spits, gesturing toward your marks.

“You don’t get to be jealous about this Auston. I’m single. I’m not yours. I can do what I want?”

“Oh yeah? Then why tell me about it, huh?” He challenges, turning toward you suddenly, calm as ever. “Show me again.”

You take a step back. “What?”

“Show me the marks.” He steps into your space, seething with envy.

You tear your sweater off, getting into his face. “Happy now? You happy to see this?”

He takes you by surprise, surging forward and pulling you to him by the waist, lips meeting your firmly. You haven’t kissed him in a long time, and you forgot how good he made you feel, how well he knew your body.

His lips are moving against yours like they used to, tongue slipping into your mouth and making you moan, something wicked inside of you arising. Auston’s fingers trace the marks and then he’s shoving you forward, pinning you against the wall, slotting a thigh between your legs and pinning you there by your hips.

His thumb is pressed on the mark on your neck, and then his hand is at the back of your head, bunching your hair into his hand and then tilting your head the other way, exposing untouched skin. When he leans in, pressing his lips there and biting down, his free hand snakes into the front of your shorts, and he moans when he feels your wetness.

He wants to ask -  _“did he make you feel this good?”_  but in all honesty, he’s too afraid of the answer, so he keeps his mouth shut.

You whine when a finger slips inside of you, bucking your hips forward, head tilting back. He bites down on your neck, starting to suck a bruise into the skin.

“I’m gonna make you forget about him, baby.” Auston whispers. “I’m gonna make you forget all about him and these stupid fucking marks. Because whoever he was, he’s not man enough to make you his.”

He pulls back, looking you right in the eyes when he slips another finger inside of you and says “but I am.”

For some reason, that’s the thing that stops you.

That’s the thing that hauls you out of your daze and yanks you back into reality. You put a hand on Auston’s arm, and he stops his fingers from moving inside of you, stops attacking your neck and pulls back, looking at you with concern.

His eyes are wild with lust, his lips red and puffy, and you can feel how hard he is in his jeans, and you take in this last image of him, trying to remember that you gave him the chance to feel  _something_ before you took it all away from him.

“Auston.” You whisper his name, pulling his fingers out of you and pushing him backward, giving yourself the space to take a deep breath, gathering the courage to say what you need to say.

He’s worried, misreading the situation again. “What? Was that too much?”

“It was Freddie.” You spew the words out faster than you can process, watching the expression on his face. “Freddie left the marks. Freddie spent the night. It was him.”

Auston stares at you blankly, all prior emotion gone from his eyes. You can’t read him, can’t tell what he’s thinking or what he’s feeling. For a second you think he’s going to say something to you, but then he’s turning on his feet, grabbing his phone, putting his shoes on and he’s out the door, slamming it behind him.

Your heart pounds in your chest and then the guilt comes rushing back to you in waves, overwhelming you and making you feel terrible inside. You head to your room, grabbing your phone and going to your texts.

There’s a lot from Freddie, but you ignore them, typing out a new message.

**I told Auston. I told him everything**

**I’m sorry**

**I don’t know what to do**

The three grey bubbles pop up almost immediately, Freddie responding seconds later.

**It’s okay**

**Don’t freak out, alright?**

**I’m on my way**


	3. Chapter 3

The headache hits you as soon as you wake up.

It’s the kind of headache you get when you spend most of the night crying - which you did - upset with yourself for leading Auston on, for telling him the way you did, for letting him believe there was a  _chance…_

Freddie came when he said he would, arriving alarmingly fast to your apartment and holding you tight to him, assuring you that you didn’t do anything wrong and that things were going to be just fine.

You apologized over and over, knowing that this was going to put a strain on their friendship and inevitably a strain on the team.

You told Freddie you should’ve gone to Syracuse, that you never should’ve come back here.

He didn’t like that very much.

“You are right where you need to be.” He said, tightening his arms around you. “You’re where you belong. Don’t think that all of this says otherwise.”

You turn over in bed, burying your face into your pillow and letting out a deep breath. It’s a few minutes before you hear your bedroom door open, and you remain still, feeling a dip on your side of the bed before fingers softly find their way under your shirt and up your naked spine, rubbing soothing circles into your skin.

His touch burns. Last night it was comforting, what you thought you needed to make you feel better, but this morning it does nothing but bring you guilt. You wish you didn’t feel that way, but you’re not sure how you’re feeling anymore.

“You okay?” Freddie asks softly.

You shake your head, can feel more tears coming. “Not really.”

“Well why don’t you shower and get ready? I made breakfast for us.”

You turn over onto your side, facing him. “Where’re we going?”

Freddie tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear. “Where ever you want. But only after you eat.”

You shake your head. “I’m not hungry.”

“Well I’d feel better if you ate.” He admits, moving to hold your hand. “And I think  _you’d_  feel better if you had something in your system.” When you frown, he laughs at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Please? Just a few bites, even. Humor me.”

When you don’t budge, Freddie taps your leg twice. “C’mon. I’m not gonna let you hide in here forever.”

“Why not?”

“Hey,” he murmurs. “Are you…do you regret what we did? Is that why?”

You sit up, scooting closer to him. “No. No I don’t regret it. I just…you didn’t see the look on his face, Freddie. He just…I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look like that before.”

“I’ll deal with it, okay? I promise. Just do me a favor and get out of bed.” He presses a kiss to your nose, pulling the blankets away from your legs so you can’t take it back.

After a quick shower and brushing your teeth, you put on a pair of leggings and a knit sweater, padding out into the kitchen where Freddie’s set out eggs, bacon, sausages, and what looks like danish pastries he got from that bakery down the street.

“Thought you said those aren’t really from Denmark,” you tease, taking a bite of one.

He smiles. “They’re not, but I know you like them.” He takes a seat on a barstool - one of the only ways he actually manages to be at your eye level - pulling you between his legs by the waist. “You feeling a little better?”

You shrug, trying not to speak with your mouth full. “Little bit.”

Freddie tucks his face into your neck, pressing small kisses there. “I don’t want you to regret what we did.”

You melt at his admission, smiling sweetly. “I just said I didn’t regret it.”

“But you don’t feel good about it.” He points out.

“I don’t feel good about how Auston reacted to it.”

“How did he react?”

You take a step out of Freddie’s grasp and he frowns, reaching for you, but you dodge him, standing on the other side of the counter to put space between you both. “Well, I felt like I needed to tell him the truth. Like if I didn’t I’d be keeping some dirty secret from him, and this isn’t that. So I…well, I showed him.”

Freddie raises a brow, frowning. “You showed him?”

“I couldn’t  _say_  anything. So I showed him. And then he got…well…he got jealous, and then he kissed me.” At Freddie’s deadpan expression, you continue. “Things kind of escalated, but I still hadn’t told him that it was  _you_ , and then I stopped him and told him. And he just walked out.”

Freddie stands, making his way around the counter and to you. He’s looking down at you with a frown, fingers caressing the sides of your face as he steps closer to you. He picks you up and places you on the kitchen counter, stepping between your legs and placing his hands on either side of you.

“He kissed you?” Freddie asks, eyes focused on the large mark he left on your neck.

You nod. “He said-” You cut yourself off, remembering Auston’s words.

Freddie cocks his head to the side, curious. “What did Auston say?”

“Before he knew it was you, he said he was going to make me forget about you and the marks you left, and that whoever it was wasn’t man enough to make me theirs, but that he was.”

Something wicked lights up in Freddie’s eyes and he smirks, bending his head to press a kiss to the mark he left. “Is that so?” He nips gently at your skin with his teeth. “Is this mark not big enough? Do I need to make it bigger to show you and everyone else that you’re mine?”

His word choice sparks interest,  _mine_  sending shivers down your spine. You lean back a little, out of his reach and peer down at him. “Yours?”

“How else is Aus supposed to know?”

You scoff a little. “I’m sure he knows you left the marks Freddie, you’re the only ‘Freddie’ he knows.”

He stands up straight, pulling you to him so you’re at the edge of the counter, and you can feel how hard he is through his jeans as he presses against your clothed core. “But he tried to kiss you. He tried to do more…and I don’t want him to do that.”

“A year ago you didn’t even want to speak to me and you didn’t want me to be with Auston. Now you want him not to do anything with me so you can what, have me all to yourself?”

“I’ve always wanted you to myself.” He says, and you sit up straight, the playful facade falling away.

“What?”

He sighs, standing up straight and reaching for your hands with his, lacing your fingers together and placing them in your lap. “Do you remember when we first met?”

“Yeah. Wasn’t it at like a dinner or something?”

Freddie nods, playing with your fingers. “Auston brought you to one of our team dinners, and it was the first time you’d been to anything Maple Leaf related. You were in this black dress…” He traces his fingers up your arm, under the large sleeves of your sweater, and back down. “I can’t ever forget it. The way you looked, how you smiled at everyone even though you were so shy. I just remember being so…jealous. And angry. How could Auston have seen you before I did? But you both were so young. Nineteen, and I was twenty seven, and I felt like if I had you, or if I tried, you wouldn’t even look at me twice. So I got angry, chalked it up to you not being good enough for Auston, which obviously isn’t true.”

“Freddie, I-”

He looks up at you, shaking his head. “I’m sorry I was so cruel to you for so long. I’m sorry that I let my jealousy affect the way that I treated you. It’s no excuse. I never hated you, I know you think I did, but I didn’t. I was so gone for you, but I just didn’t think I deserved you. I didn’t think anyone deserved you.”

“Why didn’t you just say something?” You ask, genuinely curious.

He shrugs. “I’m saying something now.”

“What, now that you’re thirty two and you’ve waited five years? Are you having a third-life crisis or something?” You tease.

He growls playfully, lunging forward and kissing you quickly. “Just trying to figure out how I can get you all to myself without competing with anyone else?”

“Who are you competing with?”

Freddie sighs. “It seems my best friend and I are after the same girl.”

You roll your eyes. “Are you now?”

He nods, kissing you again. “We are.”

“And how’s that going to work out for you?” You ask nervously. “Freddie I don’t want this to-”

“Auston and I will be fine.” He assures. “Right now I’m more concerned about us.”

“Is there an us?”

“That’s what I’m concerned about.” He laughs, using your intertwined hands to tug you closer to him, resting his forehead against yours, your eyes falling shut at the gesture. “I’m not asking for anything serious. I’m just asking that you give me a shot. We can take it slow, see what we want. I know you still have feelings for him, but I also know you have feelings for me, right?” You nod, and he smiles. “Good. So, let’s just see where it goes, okay? I want you to take the reins. I don’t care if you see Auston, I don’t care if you’re with us at the same time, I just want you to decide what you want, whatever’s going to make you happy.”

He kisses you again, for emphasis. “And if I make you happy, then hey. That’s alright with me.”

You’re shocked to say the least at how…generous he’s being, and incredibly sweet. You kiss him this time, murmuring a quiet “thank you,” feeling more relieved about this situation than you thought possible.

—

Auston’s staring at his bedroom ceiling for what feels like the fifteenth hour when there’s a knock on his front door.

Deep down, he’s praying it’s you, but he knows it isn’t. He knows you well enough to know that you give him the space he needs when he’s upset about something.

Only this time he’s not upset. He’s hurt, heartbroken, and sad.

With a sigh, he gets up, padding to the front door and opening it, not at all surprised to see his goaltender standing on the other side of the door.

“Hey.” Auston says, leaving the door open and turning into his apartment.

Freddie shuts the door behind him, following Auston into his kitchen. Auston hands him a bottle of water, and both men take a seat on the barstools at his kitchen counter.

“You like her.” Auston says, seeing no reason why they have to start lying to each other now.

Freddie nods. “Yeah. And you love her.”

“I do.” Auston says. “But she doesn’t love me.”

“That’s not true,” Freddie says, shaking his head. “She still cares about you. And she still has feelings for you.”

“Then why’d you kiss her?” Auston demands, though his tone is more inquisitive than angry. In reality, getting angry solves nothing, he knows that.

He remembers one too many times during his USNTDP days where he was interested in a girl and one of the boys scooped her away, or when he scooped away someone else’s girl. Whether it was just sex or real love, those boys knew getting emotional about it on the ice wasn’t going to solve anything. So while Freddie being with you definitely made him feel some type of way, at the end of the day Freddie was Auston’s teammate and one of his greatest friends.

“Because I have feelings for her, too.” Freddie admits, capping his water bottle. “So we both like her, and she likes both of us.”

Auston shakes his head. “So what are we supposed to do, share her?”

“Or, how about we let her decide what she wants for once? I mean you and I haven’t exactly been the nicest to her, and this is definitely a lot for her to process. She’s finally starting to get used to the idea of sticking around, and forcing her to choose which one of us she wants is probably going to ruin that.”

“I’m not competing for her.” Auston says.

Freddie rolls his eyes. “I never said that. I just said to let her decide what she wants. She can decide if she wants to be with one of us over the other, or if she doesn’t want to be with either of us.”

“And if she can’t decide?”

“You and I both know we’re not prepared to share her.” Freddie says, leveling Auston with a look.

“Fine. So we both back off, let up, and just let her decide what she wants to do.” Freddie nods, and Auston sighs. “But what if I want to spend one on one time with her? Or what if you do?”

“Then we tell her as much. And if she says yes, then we go. If she says no, we give her space.”

Auston stares at Freddie, before shaking his head, laughing. “I’m not used to this man.”

“Neither am I.” Freddie says, “but I’m learning.” Freddie stands then, tossing his empty water in the recycling. “Also, you should probably call her. She was pretty upset when you left her. She feels really bad about what happened.”

Auston nods, waving a small goodbye as Freddie leaves. When he’s gone, Auston pulls out his phone, shooting you a text.

**Babe?**

He bites his lip nervously waiting for your response. When you don’t respond right away, Auston decides maybe a hot shower and some distance from his phone might do the job. The warm water helps him calm down and by the time he’s stepping out, towel wrapped around his waist and steam billowing out around him, he’s almost forgotten about it all until he hears his phone buzz.

**You’re not mad at me?**

He sighs, beating himself up at the fact that he upset you, wishing he could take it all back.

**No I’m not, can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night to prove it?**

**If you want to, sure**

**I do. I’ll pick you up at 6. I love you**

He locks his phone and puts it away, not wanting to know if you say it back.


	4. Chapter 4

You smile softly at Auston from across the table, feeling suddenly shy and embarrassed. Your waiter comes by, clearing your dishes and topping off your wine glasses before departing, giving Auston the chance to reach for your hand across the table, clearing his throat.

“I’m sorry about the other day.” He says, genuinely. “I didn’t mean to storm out of there, or make you feel uncomfortable, or bad about what you did. You were right, I had no right to be jealous or upset and I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

“I forgive you,” you tell him. “I forgave you almost immediately. I’m just sorry I had to drop it on you like that.”

He nods, thumb rubbing soothing circles over the back of your hand. “So, you and Freddie?” You nod, and he leans a bit closer. “And me and you.”

You smile at him, nervous. “I’m sorry, I know that must be weird.”

“I mean it’s not ideal, but I can’t tell you who you can and can’t care about, because it’s not my decision. What you want and what you feel are always up to you. I know that now. I just want you to know that in the end, whatever you decide, I still love you and I’m still going to be here for you. Even if in the end you don’t pick me.”

“I still love you, too, Auston.” You say, honestly. “I don’t think that will ever go away, but it’s not the same as before. And with Freddie, I don’t know, it’s just new.”

“You’re allowed to date who you want.” He says. “You’re not bound to either of us. You don’t have to be just mine or just his and that’s not what we expect from you, and we’re also not going to make you choose. The only thing he and I are asking for is exclusivity. So if you decide you want to throw someone else into the mix, you tell us.”

You nod. “Obviously.”

“Then it’s settled.” He says with a smile. “Now, what do you want for dessert?”

—

A small yawn leaves your mouth as you stretch out your limbs, trying to relieve the ache in your muscles. When you relax again, a pair of arms circle themselves around your waist, pulling you back against him, your naked bodies warming each other while he presses a kiss to your shoulder.

“You sleep okay?”

Images of last night come rushing back to you. You remember getting home from dinner, and you remember Auston not being able to keep his hands off of you now that all of your feelings were out on the table. Not to mention the last time he was in your apartment, he started something he didn’t finish.

You made sure that last night, he didn’t get away from you so easily.

With a smile, you turn over in his arms, burrowing into his chest and pressing a kiss under his chin. “I did, yeah.”

You can feel Auston smiling when he presses a kiss to your forehead, pulling you close. You can feel his arousal against your stomach, and you wiggle your lower body a little. He groans slightly, squeezing you in warning. “I don’t know if I can go again right now, baby.”

You chuckle softly. “Was last night a little too much?”

He pulls back, staring down at you with playfully narrowed eyes. “What part of last night? The part where you edged me for forty-five minutes? Or the part where you tortured me with that little mouth?” He drags his thumb over your bottom lip, and you give it a little kiss before you back away, sitting up in bed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You sing-song, dashing out of the way when Auston lunges for you in bed. You giggle all the way to the bathroom as he untangles himself from the sheets and chases after you, backing you against the sink and lifting you up.

“Thought you said you couldn’t go again.” You tease, moaning at the way his fingers dig into the flesh at your hips.

“Oh, _ **I**_ can’t.” He says, “I’d be coming around nothing if I even tried to. But  ** _you_**  can clearly go again.”

Auston’s wordless as he drops to his knees, throwing your legs over his shoulders and burying his face in your core.

—

Steam billows out around you as you step out of the shower, towel wrapped around your body as Auston follows suit, towel wrapped around his waist. You both brush your teeth at the sink, and Auston borrows your face-wash when you’re done with it, liking how it makes his face feel cool and tingly.

It’s a slow and planless Saturday for you, while Auston has an afternoon practice. He gets dressed, moving around your kitchen and making his pre-workout shake, while you get dressed in comfy sweats and a worn shirt, helping to make his post game shake, and packing a few bananas and a bottle of Pedialyte in his backpack.

He smiles at you as you walk him to the door, and he puts his things down for a moment to properly pull you in tight, lips brushing the shell of your ear when he says “Last night meant a lot to me. I loved every second.”

“I did too.” You say honestly.

He pulls away after a moment, keeping a hand on your lower back when you lean in to kiss him goodbye. “I’d say I’d see you later but Freddie said he was going to see if you wanted to spend some time together tonight after practice” He presses another kiss to your lips, smiling when he pulls away. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“I feel like this is a custody exchange,” you tease. Auston still looks worried for a second, so you kiss the little crease between his brows. “I’m kidding, it’s fine. I’d tell you both if it wasn’t.”

He kisses you one more time before he leaves, and for some reason you find yourself pressing your back to your door when he’s gone, smiling and squealing like it was the first time he spent the night all over again.

—

Freddie wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer to his bare chest as you both relax on his couch, freshly showered and enjoying each other’s company before bed. He’s still injured, not really ready to get back out with the team, so you spent most of the late afternoon with him grocery shopping and buying little things you needed for your place.

He made chicken parmesan for dinner - his pre-game meal, you knew it was a sign he missed playing with the boys - inhaling his two plates before settling next to you with a content sigh, turning on Bob’s Burgers (your favorite) and pulling you close. You made it through a few episodes before you both broke apart, showering separately then settling back together on the couch.

Since he picked you up he’s been sweetly affectionate, keeping an arm around you or his hand in yours the entire time. He even brought out extra blankets and pillows for his large couch, going the extra mile to change his sheets and duvet cover so you had a clean bed to sleep in, as if Freddie didn’t wash his sheets once a week.

It was…nice.

Auston never really considered those things for you, never really asked or bothered to care, but then again neither did you. You couldn’t help but compare the two of them all night.

After spending a wonderful night with Auston last night and this morning, and then spending a great late afternoon and evening with Freddie, your mind was all over the damn place. You knew you shouldn’t be thinking about it, because both of them told you to just take your time and just enjoy it, but you couldn’t help it.

You’d never “casually dated” two people at once. You were always a one man woman, believed in monogamy and committed relationships. This was a whole different ball game.

Being with Auston is simple, easy, because you’re partially still used to being around him, but being with Freddie feels much of the same. Though you haven’t really gotten used to this side of Freddie yet, being that it’s come about so recently, it feels as if he’s always been this way with you, almost like all those years you spent thinking he hated you didn’t exist anymore.

You feel like you’ll never be able to give up either one of them, and it makes you feel a little shitty on the inside.

Auston is familiar, he’s  _safe_. Freddie is new, and different than the Freddie you used to know, and there’s so much room for new possibilities and opportunities, but the never ending variables of what a relationship could be like with Freddie is  _terrifying_ , no matter how curious you are at what it might be like to be loved by someone new.

Freddie can tell you’re thinking too hard, so he brings his fingers to your chin, turning your head to look at him. “Hey, don’t get too in your head. Be  _here_ , with me.”

“I am.” You insist, bending your head to kiss the tips of his fingers.

He lets out a little gasp, and you still slightly, getting a daring idea. Freddie watches with heated anticipation as you kiss the tips of his fingers again, your own small fingers circling around his wrist to guide his index fingers into your mouth slowly, sucking gently when you get to the knuckle and pull off the digit slowly.

“ _ **Åh gud**_ ” he murmurs, eyes going hazy as his heart beats in his chest. “Do that again.”

You giggle, letting go of his wrist and sliding off the sofa, dropping to your knees between his legs. Freddie’s frantic, reaching for you, because this is  _not_ what he meant when he said ‘do it again,’ and also because this is the farthest either of you have gone with one another. He’s kept it strictly to kissing thus far, which you’ve been fine with, but right now you need to get out of your head a little bit.

And you know just the way to do it.

You gently push his hands away, smiling sweetly at him. “It’s okay.” You reassure. “I want to.”

Freddie’s silent, watching you with hungry eyes as you untie his sweatpants, pulling his sweats and boxer briefs down in one go, letting it pool around his ankles and leaving him naked. His hard and heavy cock springs free, and you waste no time in wrapping your hand around the base, taking him into your mouth.

He chokes, tangling his hands in your hair and gently pulling you off of him, moaning at the way his cock leaves your mouth with a ‘pop.’

“What?” You ask, worried. “Do you not want to-”

“No no!” He hurries out. “I do, I  _really_  do. I just…” His skin flushes deep red. “I’ve been thinking about this for long time, yeah? And I’ve wanted it for so long. I just want us to do it right.”

You sit back on your knees, hands dropping to your lap, looking up at Freddie expectantly. “Oh, okay. Well then where do you want to start?”

His mind reels, stuck at the sight of you on your knees.

And still  _clothed._

“C’mere.” He murmurs, reaching for your hands and pulling you on top of him, legs straddling his waist as your arms wrap around his neck.

He captures you in a heated and loving kiss, lips moving soft and gently against yours but still managing to communicate his sense of urgency, his desperation. His hands tangle into your hair, tugging gently. You open up for him, moaning slightly and his tongue slips into your mouth, teasing, dragging over your lower lip before he takes it between his teeth.

“We’ll go slow.” He says. “Make it last.”

You nod, allowing him to take off your shirt (his shirt), his mouth immediately latching on to your breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking gently, one of his large hands massaging the other, another hand at the small of your back, keeping your body close to him.

A soft moan escapes your lips and it makes Freddie’s cock jump. You feel it, grinding slowly in his lap and he bites down on your nipple in warning. You let out a little squeal, hands going to his hair and tugging his head back. You watch the way his mouth falls away from your breast, eyes trying to read him, figure out what he’s thinking.

He watches you with an expression you’ve never seen on his face before, then his hands are cupping your face, pulling you back down to him so he can kiss you again. He wraps his arms around you, carefully maneuvering you both until you’re laying down on the couch, his body coming to rest between your legs.

You’re focused on kissing him, trying to communicate to him that you appreciate everything he’s doing, how patient he’s been and is still trying to be. But you  _need_  this, need a distraction, need something that makes you not think.

His fingers dance at the waistband of your sleep shorts, pulling them down and tossing them somewhere over his shoulders. Only a thin layer of lace remains between you both, but Freddie drags one fingers through the fabric and it rips, and he tosses it to the floor. He smirks a little at his strength and you laugh, try to get him to keep kissing you, to ground you.

Once there’s nothing left between you, Freddie sits back on his knees, drinking in the sight of your naked body. He looks between your legs, and his mouth waters.

“No,” you say. “I don’t think I can wait any longer.”

He nods, taking his cock in one hand and running it through your wet folds, slicking himself up before he presses into you slowly.

You reach for him, and he comes willingly, keeping himself propped up above you while trying to push in slowly. You laugh, hand on his hip, trying to pull him forward. “It’s okay. I’m not going to break.”

He nods, pushing in the rest of the way. You both let out a satisfied noise when he’s settled inside, and Freddie pulls back, starting a steady pace, his cock dragging in and out of you. You moan, arching into him, mind going numb at the way he stretches and fills you all at once, pulling out only to give it back to you.

Sex with Auston is nothing like this.

Sex with Auston is fast, dirty, and primal.

Sex with Freddie is loving, slow, passionate, and intense.

You feel the tension, the anxiety, the stress finally leaving your body as you relax under Freddie, and he throws your legs over his arms, allowing himself to fuck into you at a different angle, one that makes him feel like he’s impossibly deep. He settles over you, lips hovering over yours when he presses inside, bringing one hand between your legs and rubbing over your clit.

A quiet coo leaves your mouth, Freddie immediately kissing you. He can feel you getting tighter as he rubs your nub in firm circles, murmuring against your lips to “Come for me, come around my cock. Please.”

Between being fucked by his cock and having him rub your clit, the feeling is overwhelming, and you’re tumbling over the edge. When you clench down on him, coming with a long cry, he lets out a moan of his own, completely turned on as he watches you ride out your orgasm. An orgasm that  _he_  gave you. His senses heighten, feeling you still coming around him in pulses and his body winds up tight.

He keeps his pace steady, doing everything in his power not to just lose control and fuck into you, pounding so hard his hips leave bruises. No. That primal urge can wait for another time. He just needs you to understand, right here, in this moment, that if there’s anything he’s wanted most in life it’s to be able to make love to you, to physically worship you and make you come undone beneath him.

“Freddie,” You whine, nails digging into his back, pulling him down and kissing him hard, crying out again against his lips when he slows down, burying his cock deep inside of you. He’s trying so hard to make this last, to drag it out, but you can feel how much harder he’s become, can feel his cock starting to pulse and you reach up, carding his hair between your fingers, tilting his head down to look at you.

You kiss him quickly, then pull back, nodding at him. “It’s okay, just let go. I want to feel you,” you say, emphasizing your point by slowly moving your hips. He stays buried inside of you as you start to grind on his cock. “ _Pleasepleaseplease_ ,” you moan, “I want it. I want you to. Please Freddie.”

He groans, feels so overwhelmed with how tight you are, how long he’s waited for this, how you’re  _begging_  him to come inside of you. He complies, pulling his hips back and pushing forward, the drag of his hips making you hiss out in surprise, arching up and gripping his hair tightly. You feel like you could tip over the edge all over again, so you move your hips, trying to meet his thrusts as you both chase after your own orgasms.

Freddie chokes out a moan when you start to move with him, his hands coming down to rest against your hips, pushing you down onto his cock, resting his weight on you and burying his head in your neck.

He feels tears coming to his eyes at how relieved he’s beginning to feel, all this sexual tension pent up inside of him for so long  _finally_ being released.

He sobs when you clench around him, coming again and his hips stutter, a groan tearing through his throat as he pushes his length inside of you till he’s balls deep, his hands securing your hips to him, cock pulsing hard as he comes deep inside of you.

You’re both drenched in sweat, tears coming from both your eyes out of pure relief and satisfaction. He doesn’t move from inside of you, just grabs the blanket hanging over the back of the couch and drapes it over the both of you.

“We’ll go to bed in a minute,” he says, turning you both onto your sides. “I just wanna lay here with you for a bit.”

You nod, allowing him to cradle you in his arms, eyes falling shut as your head rests against his chest.

—-

You wake up on your own the next morning, blankets bunched around you and the space in bed next to you vacant and cold.

There’s a note left on Freddie’s pillow telling you he’s gone to the rink to meet with the team doctors and physical therapists, and that he’d be there for practice too.

 **“It’s up to you if you want to be with either of us tonight”**  is written at the bottom. That gives you a little relief. While sex with Freddie was fun, it was a temporary distraction, and some time apart from them would do you some good right about now.

You get freshened up in Freddie’s bathroom, taking time to make his bed and make sure that his apartment is clean before you take an Uber back to your apartment.

—

Freddie wraps a towel around his waist, heading back into the locker room to grab his clothes to change. The doctors and physical therapists allowed him to go to practice in a no contact jersey, and it felt good to be back on ice, dusting off the rust and being around the team again.

Some of the boys are still milling around but the locker room is mostly empty. Freddie changes into clean clothes, packing up his things and grabbing his backpack. Kappy comments on the extra pep in his step as they pass in the hallway, and Freddie ignores him, trying not to smile as he heads out to his car.

When he gets to the garage, he sees Auston up ahead leaning against his own car, back turned to Freddie while he talks lowly into his phone. Auston clearly doesn’t know Freddie’s there, and just as Freddie’s about to call out to him, he stops when Auston speaks again.

“No, we’re not together…what? Yes, of course I still see her, we’re just not dating again…I don’t know?…What does it matter to you if we’ve fucked?”

Freddie feels his blood begin to boil. Just when he thought Auston changed his tune.

“No, absolutely not. She can’t know.” Auston says harshly. “Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? I’ll be there at seven like I said. Just don’t call me again.”

When he hangs up, Freddie clears his throat, and Auston jumps with a small shout. When he sees Freddie, his face pales.

He’ll be damned if he lets Auston hurt you again. “Wanna explain what that was about?” Freddie demands.

Auston stutters for an answer, but when he doesn’t come up with one, Freddie sighs, shaking his head. “Forget it. Whatever you’re doing, I’ll stay out of it. Just leave her out of it.”

Freddie shoves past Auston, getting into his own car and speeding out of the garage.

Panic sets in for Auston.


	5. Chapter 5

The loud banging on your door makes you jump, nearly cutting your thumb instead of the vegetables in front of you. The knocking keeps coming, and once you manage to collect yourself and calm your beating heart, you put the knife down, wipe your hands and head to the door.

You’re a little surprised when you see Auston standing on the other side, looking frantic, a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and his eyes wide with panic.

“Auston? Why didn’t you use your key?”

“Did Freddie call you?” He says, ignoring your question and pushing his way into your apartment.

You raise a brow in concern, shutting the door behind him. “Uh…no? Why, is something wrong?”

Auston shakes his head. “He’s fine, it’s just…he heard me on the phone.”

“Um…okay.” You say, confused. “And?”

He stops his pacing and looks at you, expression almost terrified. “He thinks I was talking to another girl.”

“Oh.” You say, starting to piece things together. Fred heard Auston on the phone and assumed he was speaking to someone, meaning that Auston could be breaking the whole ‘exclusivity’ thing. And now he was here incase Freddie got to you first, “Well, were you?”

His expression changes, looking almost offended. “Was I talking to another girl?”

You shrug. “I mean…we’re not together anymore. We’re just kind of…I don’t know. I mean it would bother me if you were but like you said, we’re not bound to each other.”

Auston frowns. “I wasn’t talking to another girl. I mean I was talking to  _a_ girl, but I was talking to Sydney.”

You blink. “Sydney? Why?”

He sighs. “I was going to wait, but we have a game in Long Island coming up and then we have almost four days off. So I called her and asked her to plan like a little weekend getaway thing. For you, me, Mitch and Steph, and Marty and her. A couples thing.”

Your heart swells. “You did? But why?”

“Because you deserve it.” He says simply. “I was going to have her invite you to Long Island to hang out with her and Steph to hang out and catch up and do whatever it is you guys do, and then I was going to surprise you with the trip after the game, drive you up to the cabin. And then you and I were going to break from the trip on the last day to go and visit your brother in Syracuse before the game against the Sabres.”

A wide smile works its way across your lips, and you bring your hand up to your mouth to stop yourself from squealing with excitement. “You were going to do all that for me? You know I’d never ask you to.”

“I know, but I’m doing this for us.” He says. “I just wanted some alone time with you. And it was going to be a great surprise until Freddie nearly gave me a heart attack just now after practice.”

You throw your arms around Auston and pull into a hug, murmuring “thank yous” into his chest until you remember something.

_Freddie._

You pull back slightly, frown on your face. “Is um…is Freddie coming on the trip too, or?”

Auston scoffs. “Well, I was going to tell him about the trip eventually so he could plan one of his own. But no. I wasn’t planning on bringing him. I mean, I can’t explain why our goalie is coming on a couples trip, you know? Plus Freddie and I haven’t exactly told everyone else what the three of us are doing. Have you?”

You shake your head. “I haven’t told anyone. Not even Steph. Definitely not Sydney. I mean, Steph knows about that first night with Freddie, y’know, with the hickies and everything, but nothing else. Like you said, it’d be hard to explain.”

“No yeah, I get it.”

“So Freddie doesn’t know about the trip?”

“No he doesn’t. Not yet anyway. I’ll call him after I leave though.”

You nod, and Auston checks the clock on your wall. “I’m supposed to meet with the owner of the cabin we’re renting tonight at seven. Sydney told me he’s in Toronto on business, so she set up a meeting so I can sign some documents and things. That’s what Freddie overheard. He also probably heard me tell Sydney not to call me again, but that was mostly because she was being a pain in my side. Here,” He says. Auston pulls out his phone, opening up his recent calls and showing you the screen. You see Sydney’s name at the top, and the other names are yours, his mother’s, and other guys on the team.

You shake your head with a small smile. “I appreciate it, but you didn’t need to show me proof. I believe you.”

He smiles, but you can tell he’s a little bummed. “I’m sorry I ruined the surprise. And if I came here unannounced, but I wanted to get to you before Freddie told you something different.”

“It’s okay, Aus,” you assure him, kissing him quickly. “I’m sure I’ll still love it, surprise or no surprise.”

He pulls you back to him, kissing you again. “Thank you.”

“For?”

“For letting me try again with you,” he says, pressing his lips to yours, then kissing your forehead. “For giving me another chance.” He pulls back then, grabbing your hands in his and squeezing. “I’ve gotta get going, but I’ll text you later, okay? Let me know if you want to do anything.” You nod, and he kisses you again, hugging you one last time before he leaves.

You shake your head with a smile, heading back into the kitchen to finish chopping the vegetables for your soup.

All of this reminds you of the first vacation you ever took with Auston. It was a couple of months before you were engaged, and he brought you out to a little cabin in South Lake Tahoe during the summer. You stayed for two weeks, just the two of you - swimming, jet skiing, hitting up the casinos, going hiking - and it was everything you could’ve hoped for.

Your heart hurts a little at how much has transpired between the two of you since then, and you’re momentarily reminded of the painful things he put you through, and the things you had to get over for the both of you to get to this point. You never thought you’d be able to forgive Auston, never thought you’d be like this with Freddie, didn’t really think you’d even still be in Toronto at this point.

Maybe it’s your optimism, maybe it’s your compassion, belief that there’s always good in people, always hope for them. Whatever  _it_ might have been that made you stay, made you say yes to giving Auston a second chance and giving Freddie his first chance to be with you, it was also starting to make you feel like maybe change and forgiveness wasn’t so bad after all.

—

A few hours later, once your soup’s thoroughly cooked in your crock-pot, you settle down with a bowl and a cup of tea on your couch, burrowing yourself in your blankets and putting on a “Order of the Phoenix,” ready to take some time to yourself.

These past few days with Auston and Freddie have been great, but after all the excitement today you’ve definitely earned yourself a break.

Or so you thought.

Freddie comes barreling into your apartment, opening the door with his key and flinging in closed behind him. He’s clearly angry, and when he sees you on the couch, he frowns. “I’m sorry, I know I said it was up to you tonight, and it still is. I just came to tell you something important. And you might not like what I have to tell you.”

You check the clock on the wall, noticing Auston is most likely still in his meeting with the cabin owner, so he probably hasn’t told Freddie what’s going on.

“It’s okay Freddie.” You say. “I know what you’re going to say.”

He raises a brow. “You know Auston’s talking to another girl?”

“It wasn’t another girl. It was Sydney.” You say, and at Freddie’s confused face, you tell him what Auston told you, about his plan for the vacation, the misunderstood phone call, and how Auston was going to wait to tell Freddie so he’d be able to plan something of his own.

When you’re finished, Freddie raises a brow in suspicion. “You  _believe_  him?”

You nod, taking another spoonful of soup. “I called Sydney and asked.” And you had. You called Sydney not long after Auston had left, and she confirmed everything Auston had said, proving that he wasn’t being unfaithful, or untruthful.

Freddie sighs. “I feel like an idiot. I owe him an apology.”

You shrug. “It’s okay. I get your suspicion, and I appreciate you looking out for me.”

“I just thought that he-”

“I know.” You say. “He knew that’s what you’d think, too. He came over, earlier, to talk to me, make sure he got to me before you did.”

“Good thing he did.” Freddie admits. “I was out for blood.”

You giggle, wriggling your arm free of your blankets and patting the space on the couch next to you. “Come sit, you bloodthirsty heathen. There’s soup in the kitchen if you want some.”

He stares at you with wide eyes. “You want me to stay?”

“Can’t have you wandering the streets of Toronto stinking of guilt, now can I?”

Freddie sighs, but takes off his coat and hangs it up, toes off his shoes and heads into your kitchen. He comes back with a bowl of his own and you open up your little burrow of blankets for him to join in, and he thanks you with a small smile, tangling your legs together and pulling you closer to him.

“How was practice, other than all of that?”

“Good,” he nods. “Doctors and PT said I was doing well so they let me practice. It was no contact, but still, was good to be back out there.”

You nod in understanding. “How much longer till you’re back out there?”

Freddie shrugs. “Playing it by ear at this point, so we’ll see.”

You wriggle a free hand, careful to keep your bowl of soup cradled in the other so you can reach out for Freddie. You tangle your fingers in his hair, scratching his head gently, Freddie leaning into your touch. You cup the side of his face when you say “Well take it easy, okay? Don’t rush it.”

“I won’t.” He promises, then he smirks. “PT said it looked like I stretched my muscles really well last night. They asked me if the exercises they’ve told me to do have been working.”

You smile a little, thinking of the way Freddie moved above you last night. “Well yeah, they’re working.”

He smirks. “Glad to know you think so.” He stares at you for a second, and it finally settles in that Auston’s going to be stealing you away for a weekend. He’s happy that you’re going to spend time with Steph and Sydney, happy that it’s going to be like old times for you, the six of you on a couples trip like it used to be so many times over the years.

But, if Auston’s going to let Freddie take you away for his own weekend, he doesn’t see why he can’t start planning it now?

“So…where would you want to go if I took you somewhere?” A curious tilt of your head has his heart skipping a beat, thinking maybe he spoke too soon, so he quickly continues. “I mean, Auston said since he’s taking you for a weekend away, and he’s gonna let me plan my own thing with you, where would you want to go with me?”

“You know I’d never ask that of you.” You insist. And you mean it. Freddie doesn’t have to take you anywhere.

“So somewhere warm then?” He guesses. “Maybe California? Florida even?”

“Freddie!”

“We’ll get a house on the beach somewhere on the coast down in Southern California. Maybe for bye week.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah. Okay.”

“What?” He says, nudging you. “You don’t want that?”

“Freddie,” you say seriously. “The whole trip thing, it’s…it’s different with Auston. I mean, he and I were together for awhile, we were engaged for goodness sakes. Trips with him are one thing, but with you? You don’t owe me anything. You don’t need to take me on extravagant vacations or whatever. I’m not expecting any of it from you. We’re not exes, we’re not dating, so I don’t need those things from you.”

At his dejected expression, you continue. “You said this was casual, that we were seeing where things went. Well, we can do that, I’m happy to do that with you, but we don’t have to go all over North America for it.”

It takes a minute, but Freddie smiles, nodding and relaxing again. You both bury the subject for now, digging back into your soups.

—

“Baby, we’re here.”

You blink your eyes open and stare at the snowy cabin through the windshield, smiling softly.

The Leafs v Islanders game had ended hours ago, and you and Auston were the first to leave the arena in a Jeep he rented specifically for the occasion. He told Kyle that he wasn’t going to do post-game interviews, so Mitch had to stay behind and take his place. Sydney said Marty was wrapped up in press, too, so it would be awhile before the others would get to the cabin.

At the late hour, you assumed they wouldn’t be joining you and Auston till the morning.

Together, you bring your things inside along with the groceries you stopped to grab along the way. Auston makes work at getting the fireplace going, and you put all the groceries away before heading into the bedroom to unpack your things for the weekend. You and Auston take the only room on the left hallway, leaving the other two rooms in the right hallway for Sydney and Matt and Steph and Mitch.

You saw Freddie privately before the game, meeting him in the hallway before his rituals started so you could say goodbye before you left with Auston. It took a lot to convince Freddie not to drag you into an empty room, but he conceded, kissing you softly, holding you close to him before he really had to let you go.

They won the game in overtime 4-3, and you had a few minutes while Auston took a shower to congratulate Freddie, kissing him quickly and out of sight of everyone else before Auston swept you away.

The cabin itself that Auston rented is beautiful. It’s all white wood and gray hardwoods on the inside, rustic and comfortable, but spacious with tall ceilings and full of open space.

Neither of you are that hungry, but you know after playing a full twenty minutes in the game, and then driving up to the cabin, that Auston must be totally exhausted, so you take the time to draw a warm bath for the two of you, padding out into the living room where he’s sitting by the fire, eyes closed slightly as he leans back in one of the reclining chairs.

You shake him gently, and he stirs almost instantly, eyes landing on you with a sleepy smile. He takes note of the robe you’ve changed into, a noticeable contrast from the game day suit he’s still in, and smirks. “What is it bebé?” He murmurs.

You take his hand, tugging on it a little. “I ran us a bath. Figured it could help us relax a little before bed.”

Auston allows himself to be led to the bathroom of your room, happy when he sees the above ground tub in the middle of the bathroom, a shower to the side with a built in bench. The tub is full and covered with suds, and he smiles to himself when you strip out of your robe, climbing in, admiring your naked frame as it disappears beneath the bubbles.

He takes his time getting undressed, and when he’s finally naked, he kneels beside the tub, folding his arms and propping his chin on them. You smile, moving to give him a quick kiss, but then his hand is in your hair, pulling you back for more.

You moan a little against his lips, pulling away and curling your finger at him, beckoning him to join you. He does, careful not to splash the water around too much, but he settles in behind you, allowing you to rest back against him, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you close.

“It’s been awhile since we were in a bathtub.” He murmurs, running his hands over your skin. “I almost forget what happened the last time. Where was it, Disney?”

You blush, remembering when you both took a vacation to Orlando a couple years ago. He got you both a suite at one of the Disney World resorts and the bathroom had a luxurious tub (which was more of a jacuzzi than a bathtub) came equipped with jets and a bench seat. You remember Auston insisting that you keep on your Minnie Mouse ears headband, remember how hard he came undone underneath you when you rode him.

“Yeah,” you breathe out as his fingers graze down your stomach, settling between your thighs. “I think it was Disney.”

“What a magical time that was.” He teases. He’d spent the entire time before complaining about how childish it was, but when the time finally came, you both enjoyed going on rides, seeing all the parades, eating your weight in all the unhealthy Disney food, and you swear he bought more souvenirs than you did. “We should go back there soon.”

You nod. “I’d like that.”

“Maybe we could see if they still have that tub.” He hints, slipping a finger inside of you.

Suddenly, there’s a commotion from the front door, and you both still, staring at one another.

“I thought they weren’t coming till tomorrow.” You say, and Auston sighs, pulling out his finger out and nudging you, getting out of the tub and wrapping a towel around himself.

“I thought so too.” He says, clearly upset at having been interrupted. But before he can go investigate, Mitch’s unmistakeable laughter rings throughout the house, and you both groan.

“Moment over.” You say, getting out of the tub yourself, and Auston frowns.

He makes a mental note to not to try and kill Mitch, or make the rest of this trip a living hell for him.


	6. Chapter 6

Once you’re at the bottom of the hill, you lay back in the snow with a heavy sigh, thoroughly cushioned with your snowboarding gear that’s quickly becoming too warm to wear.

You hear Stephanie and Sydney settle in the snow next to you as you all watch Mitch, Auston, and Matt make their way down the rest of the slope, Matt shoving Mitch over and watching as Mitch loses his balance goes face first into the snow, Auston and Matt laughing hysterically at Mitch’s plight.

It was all…comfortably familiar.

You couldn’t help the smile that crept on your face as you remembered about a hundred instances just like this, surrounded by your friends and enjoying each others company without a care in the world. Granted you and Auston were different then, but even now, not much has changed.

He’s still just as excitable, just as happy and energetic, looking at you the same way he used to all those years ago.

The trip had been going well so far. Yesterday was your first full day, and the six of you spent the morning ice skating, then snowboarding in the afternoon, and spent the evening hanging out in the cabin. You and Auston had made dinner that first night, Steph and Mitch taking on dessert and Syd and Marty had cleaned up.

Again, it reminded you of the thousands of times you and Auston spent as a couple with Mitch and Steph and Syd and Marty, and you couldn’t lie to yourself - you _missed_ it, so much. You missed how close you all used to be, going on trips like this all of the time, being involved and included.

Since you and Auston started to drift apart before you broke up, you hadn’t spent that much time with anyone, and definitely not as much as you used to. Sure, the guys came by every now and again, but it was nothing like before, when you were around them almost everyday.

And even in the last year, while you and Auston worked on being friends and you worked on your new friendship with Freddie, you engrossed yourself in work, in creating a life on your own and enjoying your own company and independence. You visited your brother a lot more in Syracuse and even made the trip to visit your parents a couple of times. But you hadn’t spent that much time around your old friends.

This trip made you miss all of that. It made you miss it, and want more of it.

The sad thing was, you knew if you wanted more trips like this, they’d only feel this right if it was with Auston. Freddie knew Matt and Mitch just the same, but the interaction was different. And you weren’t as close to Connor Brown or his girlfriend as you were to Steph and Syd.

But still, you knew you felt  _something_  for Freddie. It was far too soon to call it love, and too early to call it anything other than a crush. And you also knew what you felt for Auston was a lot stronger than what you were feeling for Freddie.

It wasn’t like you were ready to make a decision, or that you felt like you wanted to, but you couldn’t deny the truth.

—

Later that night, Auston comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, a lazy smirk on his face.

You’re under the covers already, clad in black lace boy-shorts and one of Auston’s old shirts from his USNTDP days, hair still wet from the shower you took before him. 

He climbs onto the bed, resting on his stomach and tugging the blankets down until they’re at your knees. Carefully, he runs his fingers over the bruises you got from the few tumbles you took both on the ice and on the slopes, pressing a soft kiss to the largest one above your left knee.

“You feeling sore bebé?” Auston asks quietly, his lips brushing softly against your skin.

You shake your head, reaching down to card your fingers through his hair. “Not that much, it mostly just aches.”

“I can make it better,” he promises, trailing his kisses up your leg slowly. He looks at you as he goes, giving you plenty of time to push him away. You can tell by his lazy movements and by the look in his eyes that he just wants to take his time.

You lift your leg, moving so he can lay comfortably between them, but he has other ideas. He takes both of your legs and rests them over his shoulders, your thick thighs bracketing his face.

Auston smirks, running a finger over the lace covering your core, turning his head to press a kiss to your thigh. “Mitch interrupted us the other night.”

“He did, didn’t he?” You say shakily. Auston can tell he’s getting to you, and the little gleam in his eyes tells you that he knows you like it.

He pulls your boy-shorts to the side, letting his tongue run over your skin lazily. You let out a soft moan, and Auston hums, parting your folds and licking into you again, tasting your wetness.

“Stay quiet baby.” He instructs. “Don’t let everyone know what we’re up to. I promise I’ll reward you for it.”

You nod your consent, reaching out and carding your fingers through his wet hair.

He dives in, licking your pussy noisily, sucking and slurping sounds coming from his mouth and driving you insane. He rests his hands on the underside of your thighs, keeping your legs parted and your pussy open to him. You throw your arm over your mouth, biting down into your skin to keep you from crying out.

It eggs him on, burying his face into you and pushing your legs up, giving him more access.

Your phone vibrates on the bed next to you, and Auston slows his movements, but doesn’t pause. He gestures to your phone with his eyes, and you sigh.

Freddie’s name flashes across your screen, and you glance down at Auston with a worried expression.

“What is it honey?” He murmurs, keeping his mouth on you.

“Freddie’s calling.”

Auston takes your phone, swiping on the screen and handing it back to you.

He accepted Freddie’s call.

He nods his head as if to say “Talk to him.”

“Hello?” It comes out shaky, like you’re out of breath. The minute you start talking, Auston keeps going, lips and tongue working on you. You watch in amazement at how he grinds against the bed, seeking friction against his towel clad lower half.

“Babe?” Freddie murmurs, concern lacing his voice. “You okay? Did you just get back from snowboarding?”

“No, I-” You gasp when Auston sucks your clit into his mouth, grinding yourself against his face.

“Honey?” He asks again. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah I’m okay.” You rush out. “I’m fine.”

Freddie’s unconvinced. “I was just calling to see how the trip was going. But if it’s a bad time I can-”

You let out a long moan, unable to contain it when Auston slips a finger inside of you, keeping his mouth on your clit and circling his tongue around it.

Freddie’s silent for a second, and your hand flies over your mouth to cover up the rest of your noises.

“Are you-” He stops, “Is Auston with you?”

Another cry leaves you as Auston slips in another finger, moving them at a fast pace. You can feel your body shake.

“Y-yes.” You manage to say.

“Is he-”

“Yes!” You cry out, grinding your hips. There’s a part of you that realizes how terrible this is, making Freddie listen to you like this, how it could hurt him, how it probably _is_  hurting him.

“Oh baby.” Is what Freddie says, taking you by surprise. “I bet he’s making you feel really good, huh?”

Little breathy moans escape you now as Auston continues to make you climb higher, the pressure building and building in your stomach, ready to burst at any second.

“Come on honey.” He urges. “Show Auston how good you can be.”

“Freddie, I-”

“It’s alright. Let go for him. Let him have this. Let go, baby.”

You keep the phone clutched in your hands as your orgasm washes over you, back arching off the bed as Auston’s hands grip at your skin, keeping you close to him, allowing him to taste all of you on his tongue.

He presses gentle kisses to your skin as you come down, smiling at you through them as you press the phone back to your ear.

“Freddie?”

“You did so good honey.” He praises. “You feel better now?”

“Yeah.” You breathe out, carding your fingers through Auston’s hair.

Freddie chuckles. “Good. I’m glad. Enjoy the rest of your time there, alright? Let Auston enjoy being with you. Because the minute you get back here, you’re all mine, and I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

—

“Wake up beautiful.”

You groan in protest, settling further into the covers.

“Please honey? I promise it’ll be worth it.”

You reluctantly roll over, opening your eyes slowly and staring blearily at Freddie, who smiles at you widely. The room is still dark, covers drawn and you can tell it’s barely daylight outside.

Freddie offers you his hand, and you take it, allowing him to drag your body out of bed. All you’re wearing is one of his shirts and nothing else, while Freddie dons his linen pajama pants.

He leads you to the large bay window of your rented beach house, the glass letting in the beautiful soft pinks and orange hues of the sunrise outside, twinkling off of the ocean.

While Auston had you for a four day weekend, Freddie managed to steal you for an entire week, and how he managed to convince you to join him in California after all for bye week, you still weren’t sure. Admittedly though, in the first two days of you both being out here, you were enjoying it quite a bit.

You grew up in a beach town, so being in a place like California called to you, made you feel calm.

In the bay window, in the middle of the cushioned bench, laid a tray that held plates of breakfast and glasses of orange juice, and mugs of warm tea. On one side of the cushions laid a bouquet of sunflowers, that caused you to raise an eyebrow at. “How’d you manage to get those this early?”

Freddie smirks. “A gentleman never reveals his secrets.”

“But he can wake up his girlfriend for a sunrise breakfast?” The word is out of your mouth before you can take it back. You knew this was a label-less relationship. Freddie and Auston said so. But the minute you say it, the biggest smile spreads across Freddie’s face.

And now you know you can’t take it back.


End file.
